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Thread: This board is fucking slow....

  1. #101
    Inactive Member Slytherin Snape's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Dajistano?:
    I never you were an attorney, Snape.

    Guess I should be glad I hesitated on a certain joke, then.
    <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Go for it. Most of them are 100% accurate! [img]tongue.gif[/img]

    I don't take lawyer jokes personally b/c I know what I'm about and I know they don't apply to me. [img]wink.gif[/img]

    <font color="#cd6600" size="1">[ June 28, 2005 01:30 PM: Message edited by: ?SNAPE? ]</font>

  2. #102
    Inactive Member toymank's Avatar
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    Originally posted by MM4:
    She called me "gentleman"

    [img]redface.gif[/img]

    *faints...
    <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">i know, what's up with that? you're clearly a

    classy lady [img]wink.gif[/img]

  3. #103
    Inactive Member Peter Peeker's Avatar
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    Post

    I've probably said this already, but I consider it polite to respond to a haul thread, regardless of whether or not YOU'D buy that particular item.

    the point being to say "congrats" to the lucky new owner. and that doesn't happen often.
    I'm sure I miss a few here and there, but I damn well try to get all of them.

    whereas, I can remember haul threads I've posted(and other peoples' too) that got one response. ONE. [img]graemlins/hmmm.gif[/img]

  4. #104
    Inactive Member Moviemaniac4's Avatar
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    Cool

    Weird....I don't know any lawyers joke [img]confused.gif[/img]

    *Wonders what they do inside the deliberation room [img]graemlins/hmmm.gif[/img]

    "RED LEFT LEG"
    "BLUE RIGHT HAND"

  5. #105
    Inactive Member Slytherin Snape's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Peeker:
    I've probably said this already, but I consider it polite to respond to a haul thread, regardless of whether or not YOU'D buy that particular item.
    <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I agree with that. And I try to as well.

    My point about not responding when I don't have an "opinion" was in reference to discussion type topics.

  6. #106
    Inactive Member Peter Peeker's Avatar
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    oh, I knew what ya meant, you just jarred my brain into action, is all. [img]wink.gif[/img]

    now I gotta go make a payment on my new bass... [img]graemlins/cry.gif[/img]
    only 7 more payments to go. [img]graemlins/hmmm.gif[/img]

  7. #107
    Inactive Member Andyman's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Dajistano?:
    I never you were an attorney, Snape.

    Guess I should be glad I hesitated on a certain joke, then.
    <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pffft! I fire lawyer jokes at her all the time and she hasn't sued me yet.
    [img]graemlins/hmmm.gif[/img]
    [img]eek.gif[/img]
    [img]redface.gif[/img]
    er... I mean...um...I wouldn't even think of doing that!

  8. #108
    Inactive Member Moviemaniac4's Avatar
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    Cool

    SNAPE, next time you have an audince, please call me....I like to wave Death row marv in front of the suspects.... [img]wink.gif[/img]

    Or maybe I should use my reaper costume [img]tongue.gif[/img]

  9. #109
    Inactive Member Slytherin Snape's Avatar
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    Wink

    Originally posted by Andyman:
    </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Dajistano?:
    I never you were an attorney, Snape.

    Guess I should be glad I hesitated on a certain joke, then.
    <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pffft! I fire lawyer jokes at her all the time and she hasn't sued me yet.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Sued? Please. I have other plans for you... shifty

    Originally posted by MM4:
    SNAPE, next time you have an audince, please call me....I like to wave Death row marv in front of the suspects.... [img]wink.gif[/img]
    <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I always thought it'd be cool to be a judge and put something like that on your bench! Or a little gallows or the like! [img]tongue.gif[/img]

  10. #110
    Inactive Member Dajistano's Avatar
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    Cool

    Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.

    ------

    A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

    His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.


    ------


    A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. Timmy stood up and said, "My mom is a doctor!" Sarah stood up and said, "My father is a professor!" Little Johnny stood up and said, "My dad is a piano player in a whorehouse!"

    The teacher couldn't believe what she's had just heard, so she made a point of calling Little Johnny's father that evening to discuss the situation. Little Johnny's father explained, "Actually, I'm a law attorney, but how am I supposed to explain that to a seven year old kid!"


    ------

    Three men, a doctor, an accountant and a lawyer are dead and they appear in front of St Peter. St Peter tells them that they have to answer one question in order to get to Heaven. He looks at the doctor and asks, "There was a movie that was made about a ship that sank after hitting an iceberg, what was its name?" The doctor answers, "The Titanic" and he is sent through. He then looks at the accountant and say, "How many people died in that ship?" Fortunately the doctor had just watched the movie and he answers, "1 500!". St Peter sends him through and then finally turns to the lawyer and commands, in a very heavy voice, "Name them!".

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